Spring break

Well- the plan was to head to Texas to see my husband's parents, to enjoy the sun, to relax and have a nice visit with the folks.

It didn't quite turn out that way.

We didn't make it to Texas (seriously bummed! we haven't seen J and N since Christmas- not counting times on google chat).

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, however- we did get some sunshine which was sooooo nice! We hung out with the kids, ran around the yard, played fetch with Emma and her favorite kong ball and took care of mama.

Homework projects were finished, a birthday party was planned, and the house was cleaned.

My grandma and her husband came up yesterday- we had a really nice visit.

Mostly we just hung out with mom and did the family thing.

craziness

Our lives are kind of sort of crazy right now. Mom is home with us...finally after 5 weeks in the hospital! YAY! She still has a long road - but she'll get through it!

The girls have spring break this week- which is so nice! They seem to be adapting quite well to our new patient. Kwynnie is the official foot rubber. Pucca can get a cup of crushed ice in 5 seconds flat. And Kynna is always there to hold her hand. Mom stood up by herself yesterday and we all clapped, hoot and hollered.

The home nurses are great and have really helped me learn about her care- meds, feeding tube, insulin etc. She has an appt on Monday in Omaha to have some drains taken out- which make walking with the walker SO much easier!

I'm only two loads of laundry away from being caught up...it got away from me these past few days. And I'm actually looking forward to making my grocery list and menu for the week. Kynna has some homework projects we're going to work on and I promised Pucca we'd start planning her bday party. Kwynnie is on my case about getting our seeds started for the garden this summer. And when I thought I couldn't be more busy....Pucca's principal called and personally asked me to be on the PTO board...for next year! I figure the position doesn't start until August and she's lucky I'm a little sleep deprived- I said yes.

Well, enough for now- I should check in my patient!

Just for you! (You know who you are)

We cleaned out the garage during our two days of heavenly sunshine. And do you know what we found!? A car seat from the van! A little piece of Bessie...left behind. Once lost, but now found, only to rip open the flood gates of memories we had wrapped up in that beautiful piece of golden machinery.

What to do with such a keepsake!? Call the salvage yard? Put it out with the trash? Keep it? hmmmmmm...

Then I remembered an idea given to me by a very wise woman.

Its now extra seating for our front porch!

POST EDIT:

*If you can't tell that I'm being completely sarcastic and funny...shame shame! Like I would really use it for front porch seating! HA HA...its actually going on the back patio! :)

** Mom is doing wonderfully! She is going to be released next week....so stinkin exciting!

GREEN

Being Irish and all...St Patrick's Day is a big deal around our house. The girls LOVE raiding their closets for everything and anything green.

Aren't they cute!? I love the plaid shorts and green striped tights! I sense some fashionistas in the making! :)

I miss her

I miss my mom. Which is weird because I see her everyday. Its just sometimes it doesn't feel like her. We don't laugh at everything. We don't giggle over stupid things. We don't make fun of ourselves. We don't joke around or talk about things. I sometimes feel like she's just a patient in a bed.

I miss her laugh, that contagious-hear-it-from-across-town laugh that instantly makes you smile. I used to always think it was a silly laugh and was so thankful I didn't inherit it...but now I would give anything to hear it again.

Its really very hard to sit and watch someone you love and admire- be in pain, confused, angry, anxious, paranoid and upset. Its so not like her. And all I can do is tell her I love her and it will all be ok.

The antibiotics (there's four of them) have her mind a complete mess. Its up and down. Sometimes she seems coherent and then she'll say something like 'well if they aren't going to show the movie- then let's just go to another movie theater!'

The first week my emotions were so out of whack - that I just laughed it off. But now- two and half weeks later...I just want my mom back. Giggling, happy, cheerful positive mom.

Don't get me wrong. She is doing better physically. Slow and steady progress, dealing with issues as they come. The fact that she's alive and communicating (as insensible as it may be at times) is proof we're moving in the right direction. I really wish I would have been graced with patience. I could really use some right now.

I know she's going to be alright and be back to normal...but the road is long and tiresome...for all of us. Its hard not knowing when. 'Long road' is such a vague expression. What does that mean? weeks? months? There is no answer- there's no way of knowing...I know that. But I still want to know when- dang it!

Well, thank you for letting me vent my frustrations. I love my mom and would do anything for her. I can't wait to have her home.

where's pucca?

As if getting a new vacuum on my husband's birthday isn't super awesome in its own right (really more of a gift for me, don't you think!)...how about a super cool new hiding place too!?

Pucca loved the box...its always the best part! She put a pillow and blanket in there and watched a movie...she even made a sign that said 'Reserved Seating". Silly girl!

mama

Good news...actually its GREAT news! Mom is being moved out of the critical care unit of icu and into a lesser unit. The nurse said its in between icu and a regular hospital room. She still has a long road. She was just about to knock on death's door (not quite knocking - but way too stinkin close!)... and now she's so much better!

Here's a photo of her in her icu room that I took this weekend. She knew I was taking the photo for this blog and even gave me two thumbs up (can you see them?).

I can not wait to see her tomorrow...my grandma was up there today and said she was amazing! She even took 10 steps with the walker. YAY!!!!

birthday boy

My man is turning 32! Not much of anything big going on- with my mom being so sick. But in an effort to show him just how much we love him...the girls surprised him with a birthday party! John and I had headed up to see mom this morning. Our friend, Jess and her daughter came over to stay with the girls. I left some money, poster paper, markers, streamers and cupcake mix and frosting and told them to go wild!

They didn't disappoint! Thank you so much Jess, Kayin, Kynna, Kwynnie and Pucca- it looks wonderful! I can tell you had a fun time with it!

Happy Birthday, babe!

my mama - part two

Mom is still in the ICU. Its been 10 days. She's still the same. Holding stable.

Some things I have learned in the last 5 days:

• The ICU seriously needs a makeover. Something cheerful - like yellow paint, daisies and puppies or something! Its very drab and gloomy.
• You can take a blood sample from a toe! My mom's fingers, hands and arms are black and blue from being poked so much...they've moved to her feet. Craziness.
• One of the horribly uncomfortable chairs in my mom's room- actually folds out into a bed! That would have been nice to know!
• There's only enough room for 52 thinking of you/get well cards. We've resorted to taping them to the wall now- that is soooooo COOOL! She's one special lady!

And here's the biggie- I've learned I can't do everything! UGHHHHHH! Shameful I know. I can only do the best I can and hope its good enough!

My gma is coming up for the weekend to help take some shifts. My older brother was up earlier in the week and my little brother will be up soon. John is with my mom today...he's being such a champ. My emotions sometimes out weigh logic - he helps me see the balance.

Here's to a better more productive 5 days!

My mama

For those who don't know...my mom underwent emergency surgery last Wednesday night. Its been a LONG five days. And there will be long days to follow. Driving back and forth between Omaha and here, trying to stay strong and not break down in tears at random times, cherishing the little moments I've had with my children these past days and managing to get a few hours sleep somewhere amidst the chaos.

Some things I've discovered this week:

• Dr. Pepper is my friend!
• 400 cc of urine is something to CHEER about!
• The body is a crazy piece of machinery
• The line between laughing and crying can blur so much that it seems like your doing both at the same time.
• Hospital chairs are NOT my friend
• I have an awesome family
• And wonderful friends

Actually I already knew the last two ...but they were reinforced wonderfully these past few days!

I LOVE YOU, MOM!