I am thinking it is time I update my blog...but I am unsure what to talk about! So this will be one of those rare rambling blog posts that allows me to clear out my random thoughts. I recently got onto myspace and looked up people that I graduated with. Its kind of fun to reconnect and see how people are doing, where they are and what's going on with them. BUT the other night I found myself feeling slightly jealous of the lives some of them were leading. One finished fashion design school and is now living in London. A few others have careers and are engaged, planning the big wedding and hanging out with friends and going out, being single and not having many responsibilities. I think how different my life would have been had I not become pregnant when I did. (the girls didn't have school today so these thoughts paired with the girls driving me crazy- really had me wondering!) But then tonight... at swim lessons as I was sitting there watching the girls diving and practicing their strokes... I thought- WHAT THE HECK, AUDRA! Yes- my life would have been different... probably way different and you can spend your whole life wondering 'what if'! But why? I am completely happy with my life. It has been hard- very hard at times - BUT so worth it! John and I have come along way and been through more than we care to share or admit to! All of that has helped us grow and become who we are now! John and I are bestfriends and never been happier. We have awesome children and I can't imagine not having them. So eventhough I was slightly jealous of the lives of my friends - I wouldn't trade mine - EVER!
3 comments:
I have felt that way at times, why didn't I work more on a career or more school. I think that is definatly one of Satans tools against us as women. I don't regret kids either, they teach me so much about life and myself.
Really great pictures of the girls!
I think the grass is always greener on the other side. I find myself feeling jealous of those who have kids. I want so badly to be a mom. To have those deep relationship ties with my own kids-laugh and play, teach and learn.
While I love where I'm at... with Casey and my job, and the simplicity of life... I still can't help but think there is more to life. But then I just tell myself that I am where I'm supposed to be and when the time is right it will happen, or maybe more accurately... it will happen when I am READY.
It is all on the Lords time and not our own. It took me about 4 years to learn that lesson. Wanting to be a mom and couldn't was one of the hardest things to get through. Especially, living in Utah.
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