Thursday, January 23, 2014
The twinners are sophomores in highschool. They are intelligent, mature and level headed. They are kind, thoughtful and giving. Pretty much all you could ask for in children! And it breaks my heart to see them struggle and get caught up on the pressure of it all.
The other night, one of them broke down at dinner. She was upset and worried about her future. What if she chooses the wrong man to marry? What if she goes to school and ends up hating her career choice after a few years? What if she moves over seas and gets homesick?
Tough questions and worries for a 15 year old. John and I talked with her and told her that if she marries a jerk- leave him and find someone else. If you don't like your career choice- change it. There is no age limit on education. If you get homesick- come home! Or better yet...invite us to visit! There is very little concrete finite decisions that need to made- and certainly none that she has to worry about now. I wasn't sure if all this was legitimate anxiety or just emotional girly drama that tends to visit monthly.
A few days later I found out that the twins were registering for junior classes this week at school. Their junior year is going to be huge and the pressure is already here. During their junior year they will test in the ACTs and SATs, begin looking at colleges, evaluating programs and requirements and finally selecting one by the end of the year. It's important to have one selected so that they can take transferable courses their senior year. A way of maximizing class loads and jump starting their degree. They took the pre-ACT and based on those scores- already have colleges trying to recruit them.
They are 15 years old. Having to make such decisions right now is kind of nuts. We are not a "failure isn't an option" type of family. We encourage our children to push themselves. If that leads to success then we celebrate. If it leads to a failure- we focus on what we learned. We support them and love them. We encouraged them to choose a field they love. Something that excites them and motivates them. Don't worry about the educational requirements or pay scale. We explained that it's not about how much you make, it's about learning to live and enjoy yourself within your means.
McKynna brought up a good point last night. She said "We are being asked to make decisions that will help decide our futures- yet we still have to ask to go to the bathroom. Something is not right about that."
After some more conversations and assurances that they are bright and wonderful- and will succeed in what ever they try...we finally made it through. I don't remember feeling so overwhelmed in highschool. Is it a sign of the times? Of how our society is changing? In a lot of ways lately, I feel we (as a society) are shortening the length of childhood. Expectations are coming on earlier and earlier. I wonder what it will be like for Evie?